Top 10 Potty Training Tips from a Potty Training Expert

I tend to get two types of parents who need help with potty training.

The first is the family who has a kid that they are pretty sure is ready, they just have no idea where to start, which book to read, which method to choose, and just want someone to tell them what to do.

The other type are the parents who have tried everything and are just plain exasperated.

Regardless of which camp you fall into, there are some basic tips that can get your child on the potty train for good. Here are my favorites.

1) If your child is smart enough to willfully avoid the potty, to throw tantrums about being asked to try, or to wait until you give in and put them in a pull-up, they are also more than ready to be trained.

Parents will say, “my kid must not be ready! He had some successes and then suddenly started to fight and scream any time we tried to get him to go! Now he just waits until his naptime when we put him in a pull-up…”

Look, if your child can deliberately hold their bladder or their bowels until you let them use a diaper or a pull-up, that kid has exceptional control and is more than ready to potty train. A kid who can make the choice to hold it all day is stubborn, but ready. Don’t be fooled. Be patient, but don’t be fooled.

2) Some kids dig bribes, others don’t. Do whatever works for your kid.

The other week I put a completely informal poll out into the universe asking whether or not we should offer incentives for potty training. The results came back at around 5:1 in favor of treats or rewards.

That said, I got a lot of push back from parents whose kids just didn’t respond to jelly beans. If that’s not your kid, then figure out what makes your kid tick. It isn’t candy, but praise, a dollar store toy, a trip to the park, or a potty dance might be what they need.

Just because your best friends sister’s cousin on Instagram had a potty trained child using nothing more than words or praise doesn’t mean you should do this without some chocolate (for your child AND for you). Likewise, if your neighbor had huge success giving her child an expensive toy just for peeing, that doesn’t mean you should do the same.

You. Do. What’s. Best. For. Your. Kid.

P.S. Their kindergarten teacher will not know or care which child got a treat for going potty and which didn’t. All that matters is that they go.

3) Give them a good reason to go. I have a dozen and one ways to make pottying fun. The reward need not be food. There are tons of ways to reward the “go” and make potty training more fun while you’re at it.

Some of my favorites include:

·       Blue food coloring in the toilet so it turns green when they pee.

·       Stickers that only appear when wet stuck to the bottom of your little potty chair.

·       Let them sit backwards on the toilet and draw with dry erase markers on a clean toilet seat.

·       Classics like “Shoot the Cheerios” never go out of style.

·       Pick up some special “potty time only” toys that only come out while you are trying to potty.

4) Phrase the effort as something “we” are working on together as a family, not something “mommy needs you to do.” The former makes it a team effort. The latter instantly sets a battle tone.

This one is especially important for your slightly older toddlers, the super-smart stubborn ones who really need some motivation. If potty training has been a battle, it really goes a long way to reframe the effort as a problem the family is working on solving together. Get them to buy into the solution! Give them as many choices as possible

“What would help you be more successful?”

“Are you feeling scared to poop? How can we help?”

“Do you want to potty in the big toilet or the little chair?”

“Would you like your little chair in the bathroom or the living room?”

5) Too many reminders, alarms, and nudges can backfire.

We call this “reminder resistance.”

Your potty watch, the timer, the gentle but frequent reminders… But your kid is still not going in the potty.

You know, I can’t even blame them. I know I prefer to do things on my own terms as well (and always have, maybe I was also frustrating to potty train- sorry, Mom!). I don’t like to be pushed and nudged and told what to do all the time. Neither does your very smart, capable, and independent toddler.

Give them a little smidgen of faith and lay off the reminders. If they need to go, they will either tell you, or it will be obvious because…

6) Every child has a “tell.”

It’s true. Some are more obvious than others.

We have three boys. The two that are potty trained reach straight to their crotch or their backside, obviously indicating a need to go. There is no mistaking it.

Some other common ones include:

·       A squirmy little wiggle

·       A straight up potty dance

·       Crossing their little legs

·       Going to their favorite potty spot

·       Hiding instead of going to the potty

Figure out your child’s secret code and you hold the keys to potty training success.

7) Success is non-linear. Do not panic if you have one fantastic wonderful day followed by a bunch of accidents. Keep on keepin’ on. That is perfectly normal.

Self-explanatory on this one. Don’t quit. Don’t give up. Don’t freak out.

It. Is. Normal.

So normal. Day 1 is very often a breeze. Parents and trainee are equally pumped following massive success. Feeling good rolling into Day 2. Accident after accident after accident. They panic.

Don’t panic.

Keep watching for your cue and get your kid to the potty. Rewards may well be your friend at this point. Refer back to #2.

8) Every success is a huge success. Celebrate it as such.

Seriously. Every success is worth an over-the-top celebration. Bake a cake, do a dance, sing a song, eat some ice cream. Make your child feel like a rockstar.

On the flip side, be careful not to shame your child for accidents. Be cool, be calm, have them “help” clean up without having them get gross. Remind them that pee or poop belong in the potty. Move on. Do not punish them. Roll with it, keep your chin up, and be ready to celebrate the next big win.

9) There is no shame in putting a puppy training piddle pad under your child for naps, car rides, or scattering them all over the living room rug. Do what you gotta do, mama.

I have been thoroughly amused that this is a favorite tip for many parents. My potty training plan is great and all (duh), but I have so many parents come back and tell me what genius this particular tidbit is.

Go for it. Go nuts. They can be bought in packs of a million (or really like 100). Go crazy. Cover the floor, the couch, the bed.

Seriously though, I do recommend them for car rides. Nobody wants a pee-soaked car seat.

10) Do not rush back into underwear if your child isn’t ready!

If your child does great with the “don’t pee on your favorite character!” method of training, you probably don’t need to be reading this post and I am thrilled that your child transitioned beautifully to underwear.

This is for those parents out there whose kid is totally potty trained when they are allowed to run around naked but wet themselves the instant you give them underwear.

Don’t force it. If you have the time and luxury, let them be naked a while longer. If you don’t, try going commando for a while. Weeks even!

For some kids, underwear is just too cozy and secure and feels too similar to pull-ups. They won’t be this way forever, so just be patient and respond to their needs here. No need to rush into underwear until they can handle it. Too soon is a recipe for frustration all around.

So, take these all with a grain of salt and remember that this is your child. No blog, no influencer, and no other mother knows your child as well as you do. Do your best and if you get stuck, reach out for a free 15-minute discovery call! I am here so we can mother together.