There is almost always a reason for bedtime battles, and popping kids a sleepy candy is allowing the root of the problem to slip away from you. Call this a hot take (because it is), but I find it genuinely appalling that melatonin gummies are so aggressively marketed to parents as a solution for their child’s bedtime battles.

Parents: we are smarter than this. With relatively few exceptions for neurodivergence, jet lag, and travel, melatonin shouldn’t be a long-term sleep solution.

Here are five things to try before you start a routine melatonin dose for your toddler:

1. Double down hard on your bedtime routine

2. Connect!

3. Take a close look at your sleep schedule

4. Don’t fear boundaries

5. Talk to your pediatrician

Your bedtime routine is always the first place to look when resolving challenges at bedtime.

Do you follow a consistent and predictable routine? Does your child know what to expect each night? Have you considered introducing a visual bedtime routine? These are all essential components of a good routine. Having clear expectations and a predictable routine help kids feel safe and confident

Is your child’s love bucket full and their emotional needs met?

If your child was having behavior issues during the day, you would immediately consider whether they are having a hard time and need a little time to connect, extra attention, or to see if there is something on their mind. What you wouldn’t do is pop them a gummy and hope it solves the problem. So, let’s not treat a dose of sleepy hormones as a replacement for much-needed connection at bedtime. Your kid just might need a little extra time together.

Audit your toddler’s sleep schedule

No bedtime routine can compensate for an imbalanced sleep schedule.

Now, here’s the catch; every kid is different. What you’ve seen work for other kids might not be a perfect fit for your child. The most common issue I see is parents trying to squeeze more sleep out of their kids than their bodies need. The result is a child who truly isn’t tired at bedtime! Their tantrums and protesting aren’t being “bad,” they just aren’t ready to sleep. At every single age, there is a range of total sleep needs, usually spanning up to 3 hours from the low end to the high. Three hours is a HUGE difference and would require totally different schedules for a child who is high sleep needs versus low. I offer free schedule audits in the DMs on Instagram every single day and can help you troubleshoot at no cost to you!

Lovingly uphold boundaries

Parents, here’s probably the bottom line: be confident in setting boundaries at bedtime, the same way you would during the day. If you said two stories, don’t read a third. If you want your child to sleep in their own bed, then don’t bring them to yours. Be consistent when appropriate. If their needs are all met, then it is perfectly appropriate for you to hold limits. They do not have to love these limits, but you are the parent and you can do this! I can help if this part feels daunting! Schedule a free Discovery Call and we can begin to chat about ways I can support your family.

Check with the doc

Last, always chat with your pediatrician when you have concerns about your child’s behaviors. Maybe even discuss some of the tips here and see how they feel. There are always exceptions, so please don’t let my little old blog tell you that you don’t know what is best for your child. You always do! But if you have any reservations about using melatonin, your child’s provider is the best place to look.