How to encourage your baby to be a flexible sleeper

I remember a period when my oldest two were both still napping, and one was on a two-nap schedule, the other took one midday nap, and it felt like I was stuck at home all day, watching wake windows and managing sleep needs.

While this was fine some, or even most days, there were plenty of times I wished I had the tools to get out and go without messing up someone’s sleep schedules. If I could go back in time and make a change, I would have encouraged my kids and myself to be more flexible.

One of my top priorities as a sleep consultant is not just to help you support a great little sleeper, but ideally also help you to have a flexible sleeper who allows you to continue to live your life. Being trapped at home while your child is on two, three, even four naps can be exhausting and frustrating, whether you have one child and are alone during the days, or you’re juggling multiple sleepers.

So, what can we do to promote flexibility?

1. For kids on multiple naps: take the first nap of the day at home, and do the last nap of the day on-the-go.

   The morning nap is the most important for setting up a great day and a well-rested kiddo. Whenever possible, this is the one to do at home in the comfort of their crib. It will help them rest up for a day out of the house. The last nap, regardless of how many naps you are on, is the easiest one to take while out and about, and won’t disrupt night sleep if the nap is a little shorter than usual.

   Any nap longer than about 30-minutes is long enough to call a full nap, and you can plan on a full wake window between this nap and bedtime, allowing you to stay out until it is time to get ready for bed.

2. Know where your kid falls on the “Flexible-Rigid Scale” (FRS)

   The FRS is a not-so-scientific scale 100% made up by me to help describe the type of sleeper you have based on their temperament.

   Some kids are naturally more flexible than others. I have worked with kids over the years who could get wildly off-schedule and still sleep through the night, and I have met babies who will only sleep through the night if we hone in on the perfect wake windows. Imagine how frustrating that can be!

   If you have a flexible baby who is happy, easy-going, and seems to sleep well overall, then your job is to practice this often. Take them out on a regular basis and get off-schedule. You don’t want to take your wonderfully flexible kiddo and turn them into a baby who will only sleep in the crib with the perfect conditions in place.

   If your baby seems to fall on the the more rigid side, true flexibility falls on the parents. Know that getting off-schedule might make for a wonky night of sleep, and that’s really okay! It may feel like the end of the world but I assure you, it is not. Know where your coffee is coming from following a weird day and bad night, and then get back on schedule the following day. It will all shake out and your sleeper will settle back into their routine. Please, please do not allow your rigid sleeper to keep you homebound at the expense of your mental health.

   We can dive deeper together to create a set of tools and strategies for your child specifically so that you never have to sacrifice your mental health and well-being to the altar of sleep. Book a Discovery Call to chat for free about your family’s needs.

3. Do shake things up at home sometimes.

   I am a huge fan and proponent of a good, dark sleeping space for naps and white noise, especially while you are actively nap training. That said, once you have an independent sleeper on your hands, mix it up! Leave the curtains drawn to let a little bit of light in. Turn the white noise down a shade. Forget to use their sleep sack for a nap once in a while.

   Definitely don’t feel like you need to do this daily, and also know that white noise is totally portable- so a Baby Shusher in the stroller is an easy way to encourage sleep on-the-go.

4. Use a Comfortable Carrier or Stroller
   Choose a comfortable baby carrier or stroller that allows for easy movement. Babies often feel more secure when they are close to a parent, so wearing them in a sling or soft carrier can help them feel safe and soothed, making it easier for them to drift off. If using a stroller, ensure it's reclined properly and provides adequate support to encourage a peaceful nap.

   If flexibility is a family priority, practice naps in the carrier or stroller on a regular basis. It can be tricky when your child becomes too good of a crib sleeper, so begin with your end goals in mind and get out of the house and go right from the start.

5. Keep an eye on the clock

   Even when you are out, it is to your benefit to keep wake windows in the back of your mind. If anything, anticipate that your child will be ready for a nap earlier than normal due to being out in a more stimulating environment.

Need more advice? Jump on a Discovery Call for free any time!